Author Archives: kelsgonebush

About kelsgonebush

Published Skimpy : Outrageous true tales of Crocs Snakes and pulling beers in the Topend through Hachette AU in July 2015 - available as an ebook or hard copy . You can find it here About Me A few years ago I left the glitz and the glamour of the Gold Coast Qld and moved to the middle of Arnhem Land NT . After 4 months of living in the bush I took part in an awesome road trip from Gove NT to Darwin which involves crossing several croc infested rivers and 750 km of dirt road. Since then I have driven across Australia twice with my dogs , the second time 7 months pregnant ! I have worked as a skimpy barmaid in the mining towns of Kalgoorlie , Broome and Gove and worked for Darwin's Hot 100 Fm as the Black Betty Van Freebie Specialist . These days I am back on the East Coast with the occasional Northern Territory trip thrown in. Life revolves around my daughter , my dogs and my family , planning road trips , writing , catching up with mates and trying out random hobbies for a week or so until the next one takes my interest away . I once saw a quote along the lines of ' my only fear is I will never get to read all the books I want to read in my lifetime' no idea who the hell said it but I totally get what they mean ;)

The Australian Outback is full of hidden treasures .. The opal fields in Coober Pedy , the inland sea in South Australia , the waterfalls in Litchfield National Park …. Annnnnnnnd a penis shaped termite mound on the side of the Arnhem Highway

penis.jpegPic by NT News photographer Elise Derwin

You can read original story by NT News here




Categories: Arnhem Land, bush, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, Only in the Territory, WTF | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

“Rated E for Bloody Epic !”

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In November last year I flew up to the Territory on a top-secret mission involving the best of the best of NT’s film industry ūüėČ

Some of you might know my mate , Phil O’Brien who was my inspiration to start this blog and , eventually my book. Halfway through last year he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse – a free trip to the Territory including 2 nights free all meals included at the iconic Mt Bundy Station¬†¬†in return for my acting ‘skills’ ( I use that term very lightly !).

It was a great trip – Mt Bundy isn’t far from the Adelaide river pub so there was no shortage of booze and I got to meet some bloody awesome people including NT’s own Miss Universe contestant , Chrisney Bright who is also a tour guide for¬†¬†Outback Floatplane Adventures¬†¬†( thinking about sending her my resume haha) and a bush poet called Waldo who kept us entertained between filming .

After much anticipation this ‘Bloody Epic’ Film has¬†finally been released

It all begins with Phil O’Brien – who wrote , produced and directed the film . Picking up where he left off on his last film ‘On Tour and Looking for a Feed’ , he has decided to rejoin society after 18 months ‘off the grid’. He leaves his longgrasser mate on the side of the road in Darwin , a long neck in a brown paper bag his parting gift. He decides to head out to Corella Springs , where his old mate Ben has a cattle station and¬†the rest of his mates could be found at the local pub , The Old Brumby Moon , famous for its Big Buff Lager and the towns best coffee – the ‘Tappachino’.

On his way out to Corella Springs¬†he comes across his old mate ¬†Ben’s¬†daughters ( played by myself and Tayla Baxter ) and discovers his old mate has passed away and the bank is closing in on the Cattle Station

Phil decides to try to help them raise the money but everyone in the town of Corella Springs is too busy to help him . After a bit of detective work he tracks down his old mate Al Zimdahl and after a bit of convincing Al agrees to join him on his mission to save the girls and their Dad’s¬†Station. Do they or don’t they ? You’ll just have to watch and find out !

In Phils words

‘¬† Made on a handful of small change this 90 minute chunk of Outback Filmology stars Phil O’Brien Al Zimdahl David Gulpilil Daniel Tapp Elisa Guittet Alizee Sery Chrisney Bright Kellie Arrowsmith Waldo Bayley Tayla Baxter Trevor Primmer Heleana Yarrngu Ursula Zaar and a heap of other fine young thespians. Filmed at Spectacular Mt Bundy station Rated ‘ E’ for bloody Epic’

If anyone would like to order¬†¬†the best film to come out of the Territory you can email me or message my Facebook page Kels Gone Bush¬†. It’s also available to rent on Vimeo¬†



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New Project

Its been a while since I did something completely bat shit crazy , so I thought I’d better get on top of things.

Cant you just be happy with your life as it is and just relax and maybe save some money you ask ?

No. No I can not. Because that would be boring and I don’t do boring. Or sensible.

So , using my amazing decision making skills , I decided to buy a thousand year old clapped out campervan with half a floor which¬†,at this point, requires a small army to set up . Obviously thats not what I see when I look at it. In my mind the floor is fixed , the hydraulic system is in place and now I’m hanging curtains and sewing cushions¬†like Martha¬†fucking Stewart.

Its not going to be easy but thats where I bring in the ”√ßrew” which so far consists of my old boss , a self confessed ‘Plumber from Hell’ Tinky ,whose favourite word starts with C ends in T and you apparently cant say it in Canada¬†¬†. ¬†Thats it so far , but his daughter , who I work with at the Ettamogah pub , has volunteered to supervise ¬†with me. Which is code for lets sit around , drink beer and do fuck all while Dad swears his head off.

Anyway here is what I’m dealing with …


Categories: cars, entertainment, lifestyle, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments


Today wordpress emailed me a stat report for the entire year. 3 blog posts it said. Oh the shame . So I thought I’d get the numbers up before the clock ticks over .

What a year its been . Last Christmas eve I was offered a book deal and that set the tone for 2015. I learnt so much about the industry as well as continuing my other work in an entirely different industry – although , funnily enough , my experiences working in Adult Entertainment have helped me A LOT with the new fictional novel I’m working on. The new materiel is with my agent at the moment , as she critiques it for me the way she did with Skimpy. I’m so bloody nervous. I already know I’m going to sulk for at least 24 hours before rolling my sleeves up and¬†making the changes and improvements she has suggested. But if I’ve learnt one thing about writing its that you need to leave your ego at the door.

Another exciting project I was part of was my old mate Phil Obrien’s ¬† ¬†latest block buster , filmed on an outback cattle station just out of Darwin. Phil was kind enough to fly me up and gave me a pretty cool acting role in the film. I got to meet a few outback characters ( my favourite kind) and learnt a bit about filming. Like if you only have the budget for one camera you need to shoot the scene 5 times from different angles . That part sucked.But we got it in the bag ¬†and it is supposed to be on the big screen (in Darwin anyway) sometime in March.

What does the new year hold for Kels Gone Bush ?

There’s a few things in the works … No announcements yet – although I can safely say ¬†pregnancy wont be one of them ūüėČ

Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year and may 2016 be filled with wonderful things !!!


2015 – The year of the ‘Skimpy’

Categories: entertainment | 2 Comments

Kellie Arrowsmith Interview- New Novel JUST RELEASED ‘Skimpy’

Kellie Arrowsmith Interview- New Novel JUST RELEASED ‘Skimpy’.

Had a great chat with this awesome lady ! Xx

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Skimpy – Explained

Its ten days until the official release of my book , Skimpy ; Outrageous true tales of crocs , snakes and pulling beers in the Topend through Hachette Australia and excited is one word to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. After 2 years of tweaking , and wondering if my efforts would ever see the light of day , the last few months have been a whirlwind. Which is probably why I forgot about this interview with the publicity team at Hachette I recorded back in May. It basically explains where I got the inspiration from ( this blog , thanks guys ūüėČ ) and what a Skimpy is and basically why they exist in the first place ( apart from many reasons men will always love beer and boobs – well most men.Obviously not gay men.Or arse men. Or men with foot fetishes .. but you get my point). There is a serious side to the Skimpy role in mining towns though. They provide much needed light entertainment at the end of a long shift, in an environment where most workers are thousands of km from their homes/ families/mates/etc. I’m not saying Skimpies fill the role of any of these things but they are a welcome distraction and sometimes even a bit of a connection to the outside world. I remember myself , stuck in Gove for a few months surrounded by flood water and feeling like I was in the most remote place on earth , even I looked forward to the girls flying in from the Gold Coast ! Especially since half of them would smuggle in 5 bags of Hungry Jacks from Cairns. You know your in the bush when a whole pub starts fighting over a 4 hour old Whopper ….

*UPDATE РThe full interview with Hachette can be found here on their website .. the youtube clip below provides different content which is hopefully just as riveting !! hahaha   :p

Categories: animals, Aussie pubs, Australian, book, bush, crocs, entertainment, humour | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Skimpy : Outrageous Trues Tales of Crocodiles , Snakes and Pulling Beers in the Topend

The ebook cover

The ebook cover

Its official ! My baby , my book , my life for the last two years is FINALLY being released this July , 28 2015 by Hachette Australia . It will be available as an eBook AND print pretty much anywhere and everywhere you can buy books in Australia or online.

Regular followers of Kels Gone Bush might also notice I have changed my blog’s appearance to a more ‘gone bush’ style theme. I though with the release of my book I;d give it a bit of a makeover ..¬†Hope ya’ll like it !

Ill be updating a lot more now Im done and dusted with ‘Skimpy’. As well as releasing the book at the end of July , I will be embarking on a massive road trip via the Stuart Highway ( again !) from Darwin to Port Augusta then across NSW and back up the QLD coast to Cairns as part of my book promotion. Ill be blogging and Vlogging the entire trip – Cannot bloody wait !!

Finally , to all of my WordPress buddies who have been with me since 2012 – thanks for your encouragement and support !! 3 years ago I would never have dreamed this could be possible !!

Categories: entertainment | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Kinda Bloke !!!

Today I logged on to the NT News website for the first time in a while. I hadn’t keeping up with the news up north or anywhere really ( I only just read about the terrorist plots to kill us aussies today .. its been in the news all week !)

I officially now have a literary agent ( from New York I must add ..Makes me sound like a sophisticated jetsetter when in reality I’ve never left the country even to go to New Zealand. I have been to Tasmania but that’s¬† still part of Australia so I guess it doesn’t count even if you do have to cross an ocean to get there ..)

The best thing about having an agent is the encouragement , help with editing and someone to motivate ¬†me ; on the flipside it also means someone is relying on me to finish my final draft and finish it quickly. I have been told that if I can get it done by October that would be ideal. Apparently publishers are not as busy at this time of year. So while my book has improved heaps , my two blogs have sadly been very neglected. After October I’m hoping I have lots more time for them . Until then I am keeping my Kels Gone Bush facebook page updated with my latest antics so make sure you follow the page !

Here is a classic kels gone bush style news article for you – fresh off the press from the NT News website

This guy got attacked by a croc , wrestled it , poked it in the eyes , managed to get away then went and had a beer. I now have a new hero !

Check out the link below for the full story

Categories: entertainment | 3 Comments

Can’t Start A Fire Without A Spark ….




Or Jiffys.

Or 3 newspapers and a can of petrol.

For a chick who spent two years living with Australia’s answer to Bear Grylls , my fire lighting skills are pretty pathetic. And up until now I didn’t really give a rats arse because I’ve either had electric heating or a boyfriend so I’ve never worried about getting a fire started. Now , however , I have moved into a riverside shack that gets quite cold in winter but comes with a cosy little fireplace. With no boyfriend in sight (I’ve had offers , don’t worry but I’m not into prison visits so I turned them all down) I have had to take matters into my own hands and start the bloody fire myself. I wouldn’t have thought it would be that difficult but I was wrong. Covered head to toe in ash ( I looked like a chimney sweep from the movie Mary Poppins) and swearing like a sailor, I finally got the fire burning.

Let me introduce you to Kel’s method of starting a fire.


Step one: Buy 2 packets of Jiffy fire starters , some chopped wood (if you are as useless as I am with a chainsaw then you will need to buy it from somewhere pre chopped¬†) 3 newspapers ‚Äď not local , make sure you get a big , thick paper like the Herald Sun or The Daily Telegraph. Read it first if you have time¬† – may as well get your moneys worth.

Step two: Stack a couple of logs , both boxes of Jiffy’s and one and a half newspapers into the fireplace.

Step Three: Light the Jiffy’s and wait for the rest of the shit in the fireplace to catch on fire.

Step Four: Watch the Jiffy’s burn for fifteen minutes then extinguish without setting the rest of the crap on fire.

Step Five: Repeat steps 1,2 and 3 until the wood starts burning. If that fails, chuck some petrol* in there. Should do the trick….

*Follow these instructions at your own risk …I take absolutely no responsibility for anyone burning their house down or ending up in hospital…..

Categories: Australian, bush, entertainment, fire, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, newspaper, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beer – The Aussie Response In Most Situations ….


Aussie’s are tough buggers. We are more likely to get pissed with our mates when we have a problem than talk about it with a counselor or seek medical attention. Take this bloke I was reading about today as an example. He gets bitten by a brown snake , only one of the top ten most venomous snakes in the country ( and probably the world) and instead of causing a fuss , he dials himself an ambulance and then kicks back with a beer. Apparently the only problem he had was a bad reaction to the anti venom the hospital gave him. Maybe they should have just poured beer on the wound instead …

Anyway , for all the gory details check out this link

Categories: animals, Australian, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, newspaper | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

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