Posts Tagged With: adventure
Its been a while since I did something completely bat shit crazy , so I thought I’d better get on top of things.
Cant you just be happy with your life as it is and just relax and maybe save some money you ask ?
No. No I can not. Because that would be boring and I don’t do boring. Or sensible.
So , using my amazing decision making skills , I decided to buy a thousand year old clapped out campervan with half a floor which ,at this point, requires a small army to set up . Obviously thats not what I see when I look at it. In my mind the floor is fixed , the hydraulic system is in place and now I’m hanging curtains and sewing cushions like Martha fucking Stewart.
Its not going to be easy but thats where I bring in the ”çrew” which so far consists of my old boss , a self confessed ‘Plumber from Hell’ Tinky ,whose favourite word starts with C ends in T and you apparently cant say it in Canada . Thats it so far , but his daughter , who I work with at the Ettamogah pub , has volunteered to supervise with me. Which is code for lets sit around , drink beer and do fuck all while Dad swears his head off.
Anyway here is what I’m dealing with …
Its ten days until the official release of my book , Skimpy ; Outrageous true tales of crocs , snakes and pulling beers in the Topend through Hachette Australia and excited is one word to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. After 2 years of tweaking , and wondering if my efforts would ever see the light of day , the last few months have been a whirlwind. Which is probably why I forgot about this interview with the publicity team at Hachette I recorded back in May. It basically explains where I got the inspiration from ( this blog , thanks guys 😉 ) and what a Skimpy is and basically why they exist in the first place ( apart from many reasons men will always love beer and boobs – well most men.Obviously not gay men.Or arse men. Or men with foot fetishes .. but you get my point). There is a serious side to the Skimpy role in mining towns though. They provide much needed light entertainment at the end of a long shift, in an environment where most workers are thousands of km from their homes/ families/mates/etc. I’m not saying Skimpies fill the role of any of these things but they are a welcome distraction and sometimes even a bit of a connection to the outside world. I remember myself , stuck in Gove for a few months surrounded by flood water and feeling like I was in the most remote place on earth , even I looked forward to the girls flying in from the Gold Coast ! Especially since half of them would smuggle in 5 bags of Hungry Jacks from Cairns. You know your in the bush when a whole pub starts fighting over a 4 hour old Whopper ….
*UPDATE – The full interview with Hachette can be found here on their website .. the youtube clip below provides different content which is hopefully just as riveting !! hahaha :p
I had to share this link to the ABC Rural website , which has posted some amazing photos taken in Outback Australia in 2013. Some of these brought back memories of my time in Arnhem Land especially this one with the kids floating in an Ice Cream freezer …
I hope you guys enjoys these as much as I did ,
Cheers Kel Xx
Link and pics from http://www.abc.net.au
There are so many things I have to write about at the moment. As the end of ‘wet season’ comes to an end ( what a joke , I think it rained 5 times ?! ) the crocs up here in the topend are moving around more and can be found just about anywhere you turn. So there have been ‘ croc attacks’ ( one guy got bitten on the head apparently , but still survived to tell the NT news all about it another guy appeared on the front page last week after he was ‘attacked’ by a croc which was all of 1 meter long .. ) and heaps of croc sightings . But I have been too busy dealing with my own life threatening situations to think up witty blog posts to go with the above news stories.
It all started with this:
Now we don’t normally go around shooting snakes , but this bugger was headed for Chaos’s bed and the outside loo so he had to go . Luckily for us Maisy is more switched on than Chaos and went banana’s when she saw the snake. Chaos just kept snorin’ away in ignorant bliss …..
Unfortunately Maisy wasn’t so bright a few nights later when what I thought was a bikini string came to life on my kitchen floor
I had just put Marli down and walked into the kitchen on my way to the toilet. I noticed a shiny looking string on the tiles and thought it had come out of a dress or bikini top. But something made me stop when I went to pick it up. So I stood on the other side of the kitchen and threw random crap from the kitchen bench at it until it jumped and started slithering towards me with its head raised looking a tad bit pissed off ….. This is the point when I realized just because I live in the bush doesn’t mean I am any good at dealing with situations that involve venomous animals. So I ran outside in my knickers and called Dave who was never going to be able to help because he was on the other side of the country at a wedding. So I yelled at him for 5 minutes , hung up , called a girlfriend who had just finished a massive Sunday session and could not legally drive anywhere. Out of options I called the pub up the road and luckily for me the barmaid felt sorry for me and sent her boyfriend over to get rid of the snake ( which turned out to be called a Bandy Bandy ).
The boyfriend tried to remove the snake without killing it but by this stage it was well and truly pissed off and ended up getting decapitated.
Not even two weeks later my mother flew up to help out with Marli and after a shopping trip we were walking across the lawn when I noticed the stick I was about to step on had eyes …. My Mum was so brave , she grabbed a crow bar and smacked it over the back but we’re not sure if she killed it or not because it freaked out and headed for the garden bed … I haven’t seen it since …..
*pic thanks to australiantouristpublications.com.au
While I was on my road trip from Darwin to Albury a few weeks ago I stopped at many random roadhouses in the middle of the Outback. It was at one of these roadhouses that I met Dinky , Australia’s most talented dingo. Dinky not only can sing , he also plays the piano while belting out his tunes . I was lucky enough to have stopped in Stuart Well NT at the same time as the daily tourist bus so I got to capture this furry superstar on film. It was one of the more out there experiences I’ve had since I moved to the Territory I must admit ! ( Bloody funny too 😉 )
For more on Dinky , check out this article http://www.australiantraveller.com/alice-springs/the-singing-dingo-alice-springs/
the one thing I must point out is that when the article was written it mentions Dinky is 4 yrs old – he’s a tad bit older than that now so hurry up to Stuart Well and check him out before he gets too old to play the piano !!!!
From my newest blog ‘ The Gumnut Kid ‘ .. A tale of Airlines and Dog boarding kennels .. and a very frustrated pregnant lady trying to get to Melbourne … ( that would be moi ….. ) Xx Kel
Dear Everyone ,
I have left the Territory ! Not for good , rest easy Ill be back ( yes that’s a threat AND a promise !).
I am currently on a working holiday in Broome , Western Australia which is , according to the brochure in font of me , 2,389 km north of Perth and 1,859 km south west of Darwin NT. I am working at the Roebuck Hotel as a skimpy barmaid 4 hrs a day , 6 days a week and the rest of the time I am shopping , exploring and lying around this place ….
I have to say the accommodation this venue gives it’s workers makes every other place I have traveled to for work look like prison camps ! We get our own hotel room which is serviced daily and one free restaurant meal a day usually valued around $40. The last time I worked away I was given a room above the pub which in order to go to the toilet I had to walk down two corridors and unlock several doors .. then there was a storm and the roof caved in above my room. The meals were whatever was left at 9pm in the bain maree of the pub next door – usually something nice and cold ;). So needless to say this time round I am in heaven !!
I never did explain to everyone exactly what my blog title is about – well the skimpy style part anyway .. Now seems an appropriate time to do this. I fly to mining towns around Australia and work for two weeks behind the bar of the local pub , usually dressed something like this …
In some places , every hour a girl will walk around the bar with a jug and collect money then all the skimpys will change into a bikini or lingerie for half an hour while working. I made $5000 in one week doing this ! This particular hotel does not make you do jugs ( pun intended hahaha ) which I like because I hate doing them although the extra money would of been handy. Even without the extra tips I still stand to make $2000 in 2 weeks working bugger all hours so gotta be happy with that !
This Sunday we are being taken on a tour by the locals we have met so I will have more to report on Broome after the weekend. Ill leave you with a few more happy snaps and another apology for being so sporadic with my posts , I am literally all over the place at the moment !!
Cheers ! Kel Xx
Sun Pictures – An old out door cinema and where I will be tonight after work 😀
A shady picture of me with a statue of an old school Pearl Diver …
My co Skimpy and biggest Munroe fan ever the lovely Ruby 🙂
Checking out some real photography !!